Barking at Mail Carriers (Dog Problem)

Barking at Mail Carriers (Dog Problem)

RICHARD MARINO

I’ve never believed that dogs bark at mail carriers because they wear uniforms. I’ve yet to see a dog get upset over a marine, or a Girl Scout – so why mail carriers? The reason, I believe, is that dogs have no idea what a mail carrier is up to. A carrier drops mail into a box outside the front door. Since dogs seldom get mail, all they know is that this person brazenly walks up to their door, jiggles a box outside, and leaves without even a “Hey, boy, how ya’ doin’ today?”

Sharing the canine consensus of carrier aversion is my dog, PeaJay. He’s a brown and black mongrel whose ears stand straight up when he knows the mail carrier is nearby, although at all other times he’s as dog-eared as The Dead Sea Scrolls. He weighs 32 pounds and resembles a short, reasonably groomed junkyard dog.

The ruckus begins the instant our carrier’s foot touches our block. All the dogs up the street begin to bark. As the carrier approaches our house, PeaJay begins with low, intermittent snarls. When the carrier is two doors away, the snarls are replaced with a staccato of barks that crack across the living room. Each series of barks ends with a howl that tapers off as his lungs collapse like spent balloons.

“Quiet,” I yell. “Quiet!”

For a moment he heeds me, just long enough to give me this odd look that I interpret loosely as, “Please, Master – fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly…”

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